Baby Steps
by hufflepuff-ish
Summary: After being cursed and spending six months in recovery, Katie Bell is back in Hogwarts. She thinks that getting back to her life will be easy, but finds out that some things are more complicated than she has expected. [Katie x OC] [Written for the QFLC]


**QFLC Round Five**

Chaser 1: Write about a character demonstrating resilience after a personal trauma/tragedy

Prompts: 3 (dialogue) "I wish you had told me before I… " / "What? Before you what?",

10 (song) Amnesia - 5 Seconds of Summer, 13 (colour) ruby red

Word Count: 2,959

Thank you Erica and Xanda for betaing :)

* * *

It never crosses Katie's mind that preparing for a game of Quidditch can feel surreal. Perhaps her feelings are the reason why she's standing and staring at her reflection for longer than usual. While the clock on the wall of her dorm room ticks again—and _again_ —she takes another glance at the uniform of the Gryffindor Quidditch team that she is wearing. It used to be exactly her size, but after the months she has spent in recovery, she lost weight. Now, the trousers and jumper are loose around her body. Her brown eyes flick to the reflection of her face, and a hint of confusion becomes visible in her expression, as if she is trying to figure out the connection between the body she is seeing and the body she remembers.

After letting her gaze linger on herself for a few more seconds, Katie uses the hairband around her wrist to pull her hair up into a high ponytail. She holds up her chocolate brown hair while trying to avoid any misplaced curls, and ties it three times. She may have not played Quidditch for six months, but she remembers perfectly well that the tighter she ties her hair, the less it will bother her while playing.

Her hand hurts once she's done and the witch flexes her fingers into a fist a few times to make the feeling go away. Then, she uses the same hand to open her small closet. Although she intended to simply take out her broom, Katie freezes at the sight of something in her closet—a coat to be exact. Its ruby red color makes it impossible to miss the piece of clothing, and she swallows at the sight of it.

It's almost like a switch has been flipped; suddenly, the thought of going outside—particularly to _fly_ —is the last thing Katie wants to do. She prefers to stay in her room, between the warm and safe sheets of her bed. Although it happened half a year ago, she remembers the pain that hit her as if it happened yesterday. The agonizing pain is the only thing she remembers from the time she was cursed, yet she's aware that she was wearing the red coat that day and when it happened.

Her muscles tense as she feels the urge to hurry back into her bed. Fortunately, the Chaser quickly scolds herself. _You've been in a bed for four bloody months during your recovery, you're not spending more time than you need in there._ Slowly, and with a shaking hand, Katie reaches past the coat and pulls out her broom. Then, she hurries out of the room, afraid she'll change her mind.

The afternoon sun is softly shining upon the Hogwarts grounds when Katie steps out of the castle. The air, however, is still a little cold, creating great weather for Quidditch. The brunette makes her way towards the field, and sets her gaze on it to purposely ignore the looks people have been giving her since the moment she got back from St. Mungo's. She holds her head high and clenches her jaw as she tries not to pay attention to the eyes that are following her, very much like she would do after losing a Quidditch match.

As soon as she sees the familiar black and yellow uniform of the Hufflepuff Quidditch team, Katie wonders if the world finds joy in causing her pain. She takes one quick glance at the players in front of her with a polite smile on her lips, until she spots him. Maximus Henderson's eyes are already set on her, and she quickly looks away. Apart from looking tired, the Hufflepuff Beater looks like his usual self. His blond hair is brushed away from his face, his eyes are as blue as the ocean, and he is wearing a thoughtful and calculating expression that she has seen many times before.

It feels like time slows down when the group of Hufflepuffs passes by her. The memories of the times she spent with Max force their way into her head, and Katie wishes for the moment to be over as quickly as possible. Her jaw tightens even more and she forces herself to focus on looking for her teammates around the wide Quidditch field. Once the blond is out of her sight, she sighs in relief.

Fortunately, the curly-haired witch is soon distracted by several members of the Gryffindor team, who take flight on their brooms. Harry Potter, the captain and the boy she needs to talk to, stays on the ground along with Ginny Weasley. The pair seems to be having a serious conversation about something. Katie doesn't really want to interrupt them, but she prefers it over thinking about the boy who hurt her.

Ginny is the first to notice her, and she instantly smiles at the Chaser. "Katie, how are you?''

"Good,'' Katie says, hoping to sound convincing. She sees Harry eyeing her and adds, "I'm ready to get back on the broom.''

Unlike the girl next to him, Harry wears an uncomfortable look. "You want to play again?'' he asks, making Katie wonder why he doesn't seem to like the idea.

Feeling defensive, Katie crosses her arms over her chest and says, "Yeah, I want to participate in the next match.''

The Boy-Who-Lived begins to stutter. She thinks it's because of how Ginny and her are staring at him. "There's…'' he says and pauses to swallow. "I mean, no- of course, it's great…''

"Harry, speak clearly and slowly,'' Ginny tells him slowly, as if she is talking to a child.

After sighing and taking another short pause, Harry says, "Letting you participate in the upcoming match might be a problem. Obviously, it's great to have you back. I just wish you would have told me that you were coming back sooner, before I…''

A worried frown settled on Katie's face and a bad feeling settles in her stomach. She knows she isn't going to like what he's about to tell her.

"Before you what? What's wrong?'' she asks, her nervousness making her sound angry.

Instead of replying, Harry glances quietly at the younger girl by his side. He looks like he's desperate for Ginny to intervene and save him. She looks at him challengingly. In the meantime, Katie considers slapping him.

"I might have told everyone that Dean will be replacing you until the end of the school year,'' Harry confesses eventually. "And, to be honest, I'm not sure the team can adjust to you in such a short period of time. Our next match is in four days.''

It feels like a bucket of cold water has been dumped over Katie. She thought that getting back to playing Quidditch on the Gryffindor team would go smoothly. She was obviously wrong. _That's my fault_ , she tells herself. Years of being a Chaser and playing alongside Angelina and Alicia, who she was very close to, made her automatically think of the team as her home and the place she will always be welcome. Of course, she isn't wrong, but there's more to the sport than friendship; spending a long time alone made her forget that. After all, she is part of a sports team and that puts what's best for team first. Katie can understand that and she soon realizes that she certainly can't blame Harry for wanting what's best for the team, especially as its captain.

With a sad smile, Katie nods and says, "Of course. It's fine, you're right. You know what? On second thought, I think I need more time before getting back on the field.''

Feeling silly and embarrassed, the brunette begins to walk backwards to get away from the scene. Hiding in her bed is, again, a very tempting idea. She takes a glance around and sees a few of her teammates looking at her with either surprise or curiosity. Dean Thomas, her replacement, definitely looks surprised.

"Wait,'' Ginny protests after throwing an angry glare at Harry. "You don't have to leave.''

Even though Katie is thankful for the redhead's behavior, she shakes her head. "I'm not ready yet, Ginny. I'll see you later, have fun,'' she says, hoping that the smile she gives the pair looks convincing.

Before anyone else can try to stop her, the Chaser turns around and leaves the pitch. Her smile fades within seconds. Disappointed and angry with herself, Katie purses her lips and pulls the hairband out of her hair. Soon, she notices a certain blond who is looking at her worriedly. She wants to groan. She was sure he had already left and that she could at least not worry about having him around. _Merlin, is nothing going to be easy for me?_

Max's arms are crossed over his chest, yet he looks worried and his expression is softer than usual. His gaze is set on her and Katie hates the fact that she wishes things between them were fine again. He's a good listener and comforting her is something he learned to do quite well. The Gryffindor could use those qualities right now.

She remembers all of their good moments together; the flirting that always made her feel butterflies in her stomach, the smiles that were exchanged during meals in the Great Hall, and how he would break his serious expression so often around her. As much as she wishes she could forget these things, Katie also misses them so badly that her chest hurts.

When she snaps out of her thoughts, she looks away and hurries past him. Frustration of how this day turned out replaces the feeling of her broken heart and she heads back to her dorm, contemplating taking a nap to forget her troubles.

* * *

A day later, Katie is making her way back to the Quidditch field. This time, she is wearing a warm jumper and a simple pair of jeans rather than her Gryffindor robes. The sun is setting in the horizon, painting the sky in soft shades of blue, orange and pink. The field itself is empty, which is exactly what Katie hoped for.

Once she's on the grass, she sits on her broom. Usually, she'd fly up with ease, but things have changed. She holds her broom with two hands and looks around. Her eyes scan the place, looking high into the stands to make sure nobody is watching.

The Chaser hasn't been afraid of flying since her first year, and considering these are her last months in Hogwarts, she feels pathetic for hesitating. _I wish they would have told me how to deal with this fear in recovery, instead of letting me sleep through the first few months,_ Katie thinks bitterly and readjusts her grip.

''One, two, three,'' she whispers, before kicking off the ground.

Her broom takes flight quite slowly, yet the curly-haired girl immediately tightens her hold on it and her knuckles turn white. She watches with wide eyes as she gets further away from the ground. Her heart beats faster, but she tries to face her fears instead of running away.

When she feels like she's getting too far, she pulls her broom towards her, bringing it to a stop. Her lips part and close every time she slowly inhales and exhales. Glancing down, she sees that her hands are trembling. Without anything to hold onto that isn't her Nimbus 2000, she feels like a leaf in the wind.

Trying to hold back her panic and her tears, Katie closes her eyes. She continues to breath slowly. _You need to do this so you'll be able to play Quidditch again,_ she reminds herself. As a distraction, she begins to quietly sing a song that her best friend, Leanne, a Hufflepuff, was listening to the other day.

Eventually, feeling somewhat better, the girl opens her eyes. There is a soft smile on her lips because she's not as scared. However, the smile drops when she sees Max looking at her from the ground. His presence instantly annoys her, and instead of ignoring him, like she has been doing up until now, she flies towards him.

His blue eyes don't leave her through her entire way. There is no hint in his expression to why he's there, which only annoys her further. The Hufflepuff's presence keeps bringing back memories that the two of them shared and constantly seeing him is making it hard for Katie to move on.

As soon as she is standing again, she marches towards him and hisses, "What?''

He frowns. Instead of answering the question, Max says, "Are you alright?''

"I am. Now, why are you here?'' the Chaser replies, hating to waste time.

Sighing, he crosses his arms over his chest and shrugs. "I wanted to check up on you.''

 _He can't possibly realize the affect he has on me, or else he wouldn't be doing this._ Katie wants to yell or hit him, but she holds herself back. It's not the kind of person she is. Once, Leanne told the Chaser that if she hadn't been sorted into Gryffindor, she could have made a good Hufflepuff.

"This isn't fair,'' Katie says and her voice breaks at the last word.

Maximus frowns, finally showing some sort of emotions. He doesn't look confused. He seems sad and she hopes her words will make him back away.

"Katie, I'm sor—'' the blond begins to say.

" _Don't_ ,'' she snaps at him. She heard his apology before, there is no need for him to repeat it.

His shoulders drop in disappointment; however, he doesn't give up just yet. "I want to be there for you."

A dry scoff escapes her lips and she takes a step closer to him. Their first and only kiss happened in a similar position, but she quickly pushes the memory to the back of her mind.

"You missed your chance, so stop letting your concern for me get the best of you, because I'm not having any of this. Whatever happened between us is over."

To her relief, Max purses his lips and nods. Not wanting to spend any more time in the same place with him, the Gryffindor moves past him and makes her way back to the castle. Ultimately, _she_ would have been the one to stay, but the sun will set in a few minutes and dinner is about to start.

Katie's chest feels heavier with every step she takes and she scolds herself for being affected by a guy she should forget. More accurately, she needs to forget all of their moments, the things that made him special for her. Forgetting is the only way she can take the blond out of her heart.

Half an hour later, Katie enters the Great Hall, ready to comfort herself with food. She walks between the tables, looking for a familiar face at the Gryffindor table that she can sit next to. When she notices the Gryffindor Quidditch team in front of her—including Harry and Dean—she considers turning around and sitting away from them. However, Dean notices her before she can turn and approaches her.

"Hi, we have some news for you,'' he says, smiling as he pulls her towards the other members of the team.

Even though she feels uncomfortable with being around her replacer, his words make Katie curious and she follows him with a frown. Other people notice her and smile widely. The curly-haired girl feels confused with whatever is going on, but tries to smile back at them.

"Harry, there she is. Tell her,'' Ginny says, looking excited.

Katie glances at the Boy-Who-Lived just as he turns around to face her. All of the attention she is getting is making her uneasy and she raises her eyebrows questioningly at him. Harry, looking quite uncomfortable himself, smiles at her awkwardly.

"We discussed your return and Dean decided to step away from the Chaser position,'' he explains.

Her attention moves to Dean, and she protests. "You don't have to do that, really—''

The tall boy shakes his head and says, "It's your position, Katie. I don't want to be what stops you from playing Quidditch. Plus, whatever happens, the team can count on me as a reserve.''

As selfish as it feels, Katie is glad to hear the news. She pulls the younger boy into a hug and after chuckling, he hugs her back.

"Thank you so much,'' she whispers.

"There's nothing to thank me for,'' he replies.

After that, she hugs Harry, and asks, "But you said it won't be best for the team, because they'll need to get used to me? What about that?''

"I don't think it will be a big problem. We've got a very skilled team, we'll make it work,'' he assures her.

Katie smiles at him gratefully and says, "Thank you, Harry.''

It feels like a weight has been lifted off her chest, and she suddenly feels much more comfortable around the members of her team. After a few minutes of congratulating the Chaser, they all sit down at the table. All the people around her, along with the unofficial celebration of her return to the Gryffindor team, help Katie push aside the things that have been troubling her.

However, with all of the attention that she has been getting, she meets Max's gaze from across the Great Hall. A half smile is gracing his features, yet it doesn't reach his eyes. Katie glances away. She wishes she could be over with the mixed emotions he makes her have.

Hopefully, things in her life are falling back into place, yet she knows that it will take time until she'll be remotely the same person that she was before she was cursed.


End file.
